17 Months Waiting...

First note, and I will post more on this later, we are seriously planning a trip to south Florida, possibly for mid-April. No concrete dates yet, but let me know if you really want to see us, otherwise I think we'll spend the bulk of our time at theme parks :)
If you haven't noticed already, I have been hiding. January sucked, and February wasn't much better. If you're interested, here is what February brought our family all spread out over four glorious weeks - ear infection, sinus infection, vomiting, diarrhea, fevers across the board, coughing, sneezing, absentee/exhausted husband because of too much overtime and wretched commute, tantrums, and $800 in car repairs. On the plus side, it also brought our income tax refund, so the car repairs came at an okay time. I am struggling with how to praise and glorify God even when I have no motivation to. Most of the time, I'm just too tired and apathetic. I'm grateful to God for every day of my life, but I'm exhausted too. Now mom will ask if I'm taking my vitamins. Yes mom, but I haven't been taking iron lately. I'll make sure to rectify that.
Oh, and we're still waiting. My current estimate for the referral is May 2010 to May 2011. That is how much of an idea I have of when we'll have a referral. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I don't want to answer questions about it anymore. Our agency gave out five referrals last month. They have about 365 waiting families. Do the math on that. Even though we're closer to the front than most people, it is terribly discouraging. I don't think the slowdown is our agency's fault. Actually, it's probably the fault of all the unethical agencies that have popped up in the last couple of years and the allegations that are coming up now on those horrid, ruin-it-for-everyone agencies. Personally, I do think our agency took on too many families and should have stopped accepting applications, but I don't think I will have a clear picture until this whole journey is complete. I would actually be okay with a long wait, if I just had a due date. Not knowing is the worst part. There is simply no way to plan around such a nebulous event. Sorry for the whining.