Most of the time I force myself to forget that we're waiting for a referral. I still check the forums obsessively though, so that probably doesn't help. Mostly I am just sick of it. I'm sick of people that only wait a few months for a referral, and don't really know anything about the process because they didn't have to learn it. I'm sick of agencies that pop up in Ethiopia because it's the trendy country now, and they corrupt the system. I am sick of parents that defend those agencies practices because they either brought children home from them and don't want the guilt or they are still waiting and don't want their adoption jeopardized. Do me a favor, if you are considering international adoption, RESEARCH. Do it before you call agencies or fill out applications. Join the Ethiopia specific agency research yahoo group: Ethiopia AAR or the international adoption agency research group: Adoption Agency Research. Otherwise, you could end up with an agency that coerced babies from their mothers or gave you a referral with no paperwork for months or had you adopt a child with severe special needs that you were unaware of. And if you try to back out, they will probably keep a lot of your money. Personally, I wish I had never heard of BFAS, CCI, AGCI, and I'm not crazy about Hope, Dove or Adoption Avenues either. There are about twenty agencies that are allowed to process adoptions in Ethiopia, and I would only consider between four and six of them to be trustworthy and proven (Adoption Advocates Intl in WA, WHFC, CHSFS, WACAP, and possibly Holt and Gladney, still unsure on those). I have been in the process of adopting for two years now, and I am sick of ignorant parents supporting unethical practices because of promised short wait times. Sigh. I feel better now. Feel free to add to anything in the comments or flame me ;)
Belated addition: I am going to add Adoption Ark to the list of agencies to stay away from because of this woman's story. Even though it's Pakistan, her experiences with the agency itself are the problem, and the way an agency is in one country is probably the way they are in any other.
8 comments:
why do you have an issue with AGCI?
One big problem I have with AGCI is an experience that a family had in July when they went to pick up their new son in Ethiopia. He turned out to have multiple health problems/special needs including severe seizures, which they were unaware of until they picked him up in country. By that time, he was legally theirs, and they could not just leave him there. The family has posted their experience on both the Adoption Agency Research yahoo group and the big Ethiopia adoption yahoo group. That was not the first bad thing I have heard about them though.
what else have you heard? We were thinking of using them
Amen. Gladney also seems to be on the up and up. I would not personally use WACAP...but that is not due to their ethics...just personal opinion.
As far as AGCI goes, the rest is mostly vague comments warning people off, and problems with their programs in other countries. I have heard that they have gag clauses in their contracts or some such thing to keep unhappy APs quiet, but I don't know whether that's true or not. Honestly, the one experience of that family this summer is enough to keep me away from them for good! All it takes is one family, and if the agency leaves them in the dust, instead of fixing the problem, that's it for me. You can only tell how good an agency is by what they do when things go wrong. Oh, and on that note, I forgot to mention that I wouldn't use CWA either (because of the baby mix-up from a few years back when they first started in Ethiopia). And I know they are very effective at silencing naysayers, in fact...
Preach it sistah! Well said!
I'm with you!
Thanks for your comments. If it helps someone, its worth saying. That said, I am on hold for my summer plans til I hear from you, so remember I am available to babysit when you leave!
Though I don't think I will fly anytime soon. No body scans needed when you drive.
Mommala
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